Tagged “friends”
How to make a lot of friends
Make it a game, host things, do things.
Interesting section is "What happens once you have a lot of friends?"
making and keeping friends
talk given by John Ousterhout about sustaining relationships
Most people die at 25 and aren't buried until they're 75
More on the loneliness/time with people charts. That novelty and learning and socialising peak, then decline for the following decades.
Solutions:
- scheduled, recurring social events with friends and family. Make it more automatic
- Take a break every quarter. Design another level for for life's video game.
- Learn how to learn
- Celebrate the 25th birthday, like a passage into actual adulthood.
- Create rituals.
What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?
finding the right people
Don’t surround yourself with “smarter” people. The trick is to surround yourself with people who are free in ways you’re not.
sparkly people and how to find them
How to Live Near Your Friends
- Host something regularly
- Short term stays (couple of weeks)
- Help friends get leases
- Make friends nearby
You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult
How to... make people happy
Four papers on ways to make people happier: express gratitude, give compliments, offer to help, reach out to people.
The People Who Prioritize a Friendship Over Romance
Changing norms of intimacy and love over time, and the modern shift to people who are in love want to have sex.
Friendships form via shared context, not shared activities
I think one reason many people feel a crisis of meaning is they feel commoditized—and they are! You’re one among millions, not one in a million. Your classmates took the same courses and extracurricular activities. Your friends consume the same podcasts, books, and TV shows. Your co-workers are trained to replace you if you leave.
But we’re human beings, we do not want to be replaceable. We desperately want to be valued for who we are. Becoming disentangled from your web of mutual commitments, shared history, and collective responsibility is to be rendered into a transaction, a slave.2
It’s Your Friends Who Break Your Heart
We don't have a script for ending friendships. No rituals or cliches or formalities. And they usually instead just fade over time
3-2-1: The measure of success, courage, and knowing what you want - James Clear
- Double down on your best friendships (plural added)
- Do one thing well and watch it compound
- An hour of thinking can save you a decade of work
A Lesson in Friendship
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