Tagged “life”
Deep Laziness
Travels and dromomania
Incredible stats. "I think that 2021 is pretty normal in terms of flying once every 9.4 days for an average person… Since then, I have averaged 2.7 nights per place"
From her case against travel
- Novelty for novelty’s sake is addictive and makes one insufferable.
- You lose the notion of a vacation, and need to seek this in more deranged ways.
- One develops a bias towards moving, instead of a bias towards action. Moving is the most passive thing that feels active.
- One is left with a very limited amount of ability to do high-functioning tasks, like making consequential decisions.
- There are diminishing returns to awe.
- Most foreign things are romanticised to be better, they are not actually better. A prime example of this is with food, where the best ingredients are no longer consumed where they are produced
this one reminded me of a tweet about the best restaurants of a cuisine always being in another country
The new midlife crisis
Before you can tire of life as a housewife, you need a house and a husband whose income can maintain a family. Before you can embark on an affair, you need to get married. It is hard to buy a sports car at forty if you’re still paying off student loans, or to enjoy a second youth while looking after your first baby.
How To Survive The Apocalypse
Advice for when you need massive change
Most people say change country
My bike is everything to me - Bill Walton
Woodworking as an escape from the absurdity of software
When Do We Stop Finding New Music? A Statistical Analysis
Happiness is not real
Advice to young people, or lies I tell myself
Most People
Don't base work or decisions or worries on what "most people" think
Permanent Stranger - The Aftermath of Freedom
101 things I would tell my self from 10 years ago
Don't agree with all of them, but plenty of good advice in there.
Certainty
be less certain about things, or at least consider the possibility of being wrong
What should I do with my life?
The Third Chair
Jars with well-fitting lids
Nick Cave on the Two Pillars of a Meaningful Life
- humility - everyone is imperfect
- curiousity - differences are interesting, not threatening
Tyler Cowen's 12 rules for life
Living the life you believe in
My friends tease me about liking San Francisco, but I think it’s inevitable to have a warped, unrequited love for the place or person that first revealed you to yourself.
Life spirit distillation
Life Universe
Beyond Happiness: Why a Psychologically Rich Life Is a Good Life
"a life characterized by a variety of interesting and perspective-changing experiences"
Louise Glück - Landscape
It was a time
governed by contradictions, as in
I felt nothing and
I was afraid.
How to make a lot of friends
Make it a game, host things, do things.
Interesting section is "What happens once you have a lot of friends?"
Accepting Life’s Challenges, “Ukeireru”
how to overcome almost anything, apparently
How to Drop Out (2004)
I’m moving into my own place, and I’m sad about it.
Big/Important problems to work on
in classic HN style the first comment was "write free software to prevent authoritarian regimes".
Reading Well
Reading is letting someone else model the world for you. This is an act of intimacy. When the author is morose, you become morose. When he is mirthful, eventually you may share in it. And after finishing a very good book one is driven a little mad, forced to return from a world that no one nearby has witnessed.
DJ Lloydi - Mixes for your listening pleasure
I love this
10 Things Nobody Told You About “Forever” Relationships
Great list. Liked the line "Boredom is the stealthy third party in relationships". And this:
- Talking about feelings is a trap.
Everyone who knows me knows this is one hill I will die on. While I’m all about encouraging people to talk about their feelings, I am equally devoted to the idea we should shut up sometimes.Sharing every little thought and feeling with partners is often born of insecurity, which is understandable, especially if your partner is not giving much (or any) feedback. But no-one can listen intently to all of it. It’s exhausting for them, not to mention a little boring.
Ask HN : What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks
look after your health
making and keeping friends
Buy more copies
great advice. on being weirder, and buying multiples to save future effort
talk given by John Ousterhout about sustaining relationships
Most people die at 25 and aren't buried until they're 75
More on the loneliness/time with people charts. That novelty and learning and socialising peak, then decline for the following decades.
Solutions:
- scheduled, recurring social events with friends and family. Make it more automatic
- Take a break every quarter. Design another level for for life's video game.
- Learn how to learn
- Celebrate the 25th birthday, like a passage into actual adulthood.
- Create rituals.
Diminishing time with family and children is replaced with more time alone
I agree that flexing the boredom muscle is good, as is finding joy in time to yourself.
But don't know if embracing solitude is the right conclusion to draw from a chart of alone time increasing over lifespan.
That you could also flex the socialising muscle, and try to buck a trend from a chart of averages.
I am already off the chart on average hours per day, so there is also that..
End-of-Life Dreams
SPINSCOTT tries to teach me how to use his SICK JUNGLE controller!
The little exercise of threes was amazing for me. Got this sample pack and actually finally started practicing it!
What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?
finding the right people
Don’t surround yourself with “smarter” people. The trick is to surround yourself with people who are free in ways you’re not.
The darker side of making music
sparkly people and how to find them
Advice: How Do I Make Up For My Lost Years?
A Claxonomy of Mexico City’s Traffic
OSTA/ULTA
SIFI: Specialisation is for insects.
OSTA / ULTA: We overestimate our short-term ability, but underestimate our long-term ability.
DIBTP: Done is better than perfect.
"am I wasting my 20s?"
Being 20 something in a big city is both agony and bliss. Everyone is lonely,
everyone is obsessed, everyone is hungry. A collective era of being lost,
hopeful, and distracted.
Being overwhelmed with options, feeling unsure about choices.
Feeling like everything matters and nothing matters at all.
How to Live Near Your Friends
- Host something regularly
- Short term stays (couple of weeks)
- Help friends get leases
- Make friends nearby
How to Endure the Winters of a Life Sentence
I look out for people who have been isolating more than usual, those who are withdrawn when usually outgoing. I have learned that a simple “hello” can go a long way. This helps me from falling into despair myself.
A Dozen Ways to Live Real Good (part 1)
Four Thousand Weeks
We will never be able to live on another planet. Here’s why
Lot of interesting stats throughout.
- To add enough CO2 to Mars to make the atmosphere thicker (which reduces temp fluctations), would make the atmosphere unbreathable regardless of O2 content
- Earth-like does not mean like current earth. For most of the planet's history the water and atmosphere were toxic to us
- It would take 79,000 years at current rocket speeds to get to Alpha Centauri
My 8 Best Techniques for Evaluating Character
Look at their choice of spouse, how they treat service workers, how they invest their money and their time.
The Art of Knowing When to Quit
The index mindset
Life advice from 90 year olds
some of my favorites:
- Now and then, break out the fancy china and drink the good wine for no reason at all.
- Dance at weddings until your feet are sore.
- Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.
- Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years.
- Do one good deed every single day, but never tell anyone about it.
- Time doesn't heal anything when it comes to relationships. Don't delay difficult conversations.
- Find the things that make your eyes light up. Do more of those.
- Always remind yourself that your track record for making it through your bad days is perfect.
- If something has a minor issue, repair it. Minor issues become major issues over time. Applies equally to love, friendships, health, and home.
- Getting old is no picnic, but it's much better than the alternative.
- You may occasionally disappoint others, but make sure to never disappoint yourself.
- Never let a good friendship atrophy. Send the text, make the call, plan the trip. Good friendships must be treasured.
- The "good old days" are always happening right now.
- Whenever you hug someone, make sure they are the one to let go first.
- Taking no risk is the biggest risk you can take. Regret from inaction is always more painful than regret from action.
- It doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be wonderful.
- When in doubt, love. We can always use more love.
- Stop trying to change people who don’t want to be changed.
- Do one thing that challenges your mind every single day. A crossword puzzle, math problem, anything. Daily “exercise” will keep your mind sharp for the long haul.
- There’s nothing wrong with shedding old relationships as you grow and change.
- Laugh loudly and unapologetically whenever you feel like it.
When apartment searching, what are some key questions to ask and things to watch out for?”
40 questions to ask yourself every year
I record myself on audio 24x7 and use an AI to process the information
Some variations, on the challenges of identifying speakers, noise, voice recognition (lot of people using Whisper now).
On perfect memory preventing you from escaping the past - getting caught up reliving things.
Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
A random selection:
- not all life-changing advice is good advice
- An estimate is better than a guess. An measurement is better than an estimate.
- It's never the money. (They will always say it is, but it's not.)
- The best time to turn it on is before it's ready. You'll get plenty of data to finish it faster.
- Your positive mental attitude makes up for most of your shortcomings.
- Isolate. Isolate. Isolate.
- If it's not written down, it's not.
- The reason everyone we work for sucks is because those who don't suck never call us.
- Almost anyone can do almost anything.
- Always take sides
75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12
Lots on parenting and time. On choices to have kids, on free time, life satisfaction, population growth, ageing, and bunch of other random jumbles of life advice.
The Time of Your Life
Dreams of a European vacation
The utility derived from planning, having, and remembering a vacation. Wonderful stuff.
Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
everyone loses 10 years to something, somewhere along the line
That's a fallacy. You didn't so much "lose" 10 years, it just took 10 years to come to an understanding about a meaningful part of your life. And maybe you really needed all that time to arrive there.
Whatever your goal is, try to stop having 0% days.
You don't need to have 100% days, Just avoid having 0% days.
Adulting Fast and Slow
adult-like children and childish adults
The People Who Prioritize a Friendship Over Romance
Changing norms of intimacy and love over time, and the modern shift to people who are in love want to have sex.
More Life
Excellent review and discussion of Couples Therapy.
Excuse me but why are you eating so many frogs
don't need to hyper optimize every moment all of the time
The Microwave Economy
Care Tactics
Actual practical accessibility solutions to people's actual issues.
>How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
asker is 23!
On Tea and the Art of Doing Nothing
no projects, not side hustles, not reading to learn.
just sitting
Smile.
don't get famous, this sounds horrendous
The World Needs Uncles, Too
Lex Fridman on living like it's your last day on Earth
The Secret Art of the Family Photo
On portraits, and some on photography in general. On storytelling with photos, that every picture has some story.
Funny that kids sometimes didn't want photos of themselves, when people get older they complain that they look old.
Don't dream of being a therapist
I think you drastically over-estimate how "fulfilling" something like therapy is.
Day in and day out you will see people you desperately wish to help, who if they listened to 20% of what you offered would see their lives change immensely, only to watch them repeat the same behavior without change day in and day out.
The Imperfectionist: It's worse than you think
your todo list actually has infinitely more items on it, and you are going to die before it's finished.
Worry about hard things before impossible ones
No Time
"For the first time since his creation man will be faced with his real, his permanent problem — how to use his freedom from pressing economic cares, how to occupy the leisure, which science and compound interest will have won.
What Are You Doing With Your Life? The Tail End
Kurzgesagt inspired by the Wait But Why post.
Friendships form via shared context, not shared activities
I think one reason many people feel a crisis of meaning is they feel commoditized—and they are! You’re one among millions, not one in a million. Your classmates took the same courses and extracurricular activities. Your friends consume the same podcasts, books, and TV shows. Your co-workers are trained to replace you if you leave.
But we’re human beings, we do not want to be replaceable. We desperately want to be valued for who we are. Becoming disentangled from your web of mutual commitments, shared history, and collective responsibility is to be rendered into a transaction, a slave.2
Cheat sheet for if I'm gone
I like the idea, kinda agree with "this cheat sheet is likely to be come your weakest link in your security threat model" - where should you keep it?!
via hn
The Greatest Life Hacks in the World (for Now)
Tips from Kevin Kelly :
Accept compliments with thanks.
Getting cheated occasionally is a small price to pay for trusting the best in everyone
When invited to something in the future, ask yourself, Would I do this tomorrow?
The thing that made you weird as a kid could make you great as an adult.
It’s not an apology if it comes with an excuse.
Ignore what they are thinking of you because they are not thinking of you.
If you think you saw a mouse, you did, and if there is one, there are others.
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is, “I don’t need to write this down because I will remember it.”
The billable hour is a trap into which more and more of us are falling
If your hourly rate gets too high, how to justify doing anything that isn't billable?
Picasso’s self portrait evolution from age 15 to age 90
how to feel engaged at work, a software engineer's guide
Some good work/life balance suggestions and options in the comments
Ask HN : Thoughts on being “boring” : Hacker News
Some good advice on finding ways of enjoying work or life or both, and being wary of taking advice from entrepreneurs - they've gambled and won.
She Used to Sing Opera
Now that years have passed since I stopped, I don’t mind telling people that I trained to be an opera singer. I used to be ashamed of it, though I’m not sure what exactly felt shameful – the admission that I’d once wanted to be part of that world or the fact that I’d failed.
The Trouble with FIRE
pitfalls with early retirement; planning for 7 decades of financial independence is a bigger challenge than some claim
I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
Pop stars on life after the spotlight moves on
The state of burnout in tech, 2022 edition
Tim Urban: Elon Musk, Neuralink, AI, Aliens, and the Future of Humanity | Lex Fridman Podcast #264
Ian Rankin on Patricia Highsmith’s hunger for love and thought
Travel is no cure for the mind (2018)
Some interesting comments on the novelty aspect, routine, familiarity, perception of time
Some Advice Gathered from People Smarter than Me
Advice gathered by someone smarter than me. My top three of their picks:
- minor barriers aren't minor
- remember what used to work, then do it again
- when choosing a life path, think about what contexts it puts you in
First two from Chris Sparks, third from Devon Zuegel
Unlearning Perfectionism
Perfectionism is more often about being afraid to be bad at things
Long-time nuclear waste warning messages
Make Free Stuff
Living on 24 Hours a Day
off the grid
Ask HN: What you up to? (Who doesn't want to be hired?)
Some bits on retirement and people figuring out what they want to do.
Ask HN : People who cashed out early and stopped working : What is your life like like? : Hacker News
Some interesting perspectives on who/what people are like when they stop working a while. In terms of boredom, interests, and other pursuits.
Jan Angner memorial
Lovely memorial about his amazing dad.
Podcasting "I quit" - Cory Doctorow
When I quit smoking 17 years ago, a wise doctor counselled me that if I was going to resist cravings, I needed a more immediate reason than "I won't get cancer in 40 years." My answer: "I spend two laptops per year on a product whose makers want to murder me and my friends."
The Bet, by Anton Chekhov
100 Tips For A Better Life
This was a pretty solid list. Mostly simple & sensible.
Link appears to have sadly already suffered linkrot, need to start backing these things up.
The days are long but the decades are short
Good list to re-read and remember. Be more considerate of where the years go. Also learn how to come up with phrases like this :)
Julian Shapiro - 10 significant lies you're told about the world
Confidence: 2 Reasons Most People Don’t Have It
tldr: Do things.
Confidence comes from past performance
Recent past performance is more important than the stuff you did 5–10 years ago
You can’t ride the wave of old confidence for too long
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